HOMEby Nick
The Request
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by Nick
He was a big man equipped with a noble nose and a rock-like chin. Muscles still rippled under his fine, hand woven garments. He moved like a large cat, silkily, with grace and poise. I approached him, trembling and uttered the immortal words…
'Is it okay if we empty our tanks?' I asked him. He owned the site where you could dump your RV waste and Frank was about to clean ours out after our road trip. I shan't go into details -the bacon story has already passed into folklore as has the evening when Frank (jokingly) said, ' I pity the man who has to ask me for Carmen's hand, I've got a whole heap of questions for that guy!'
So, here we were, emptying the RV, little did Frank know that I had a very important question for him. But, disaster was looming large. Frank opened the exit valve for the 'waste' and, well, for want of a better word or two, the 'waste' shot out of the valve at a dizzying rate of knots and coated my (hopefully) future father-in-law's arm and leg. 'It' had been brewing since winter; someone had messed with the valves and it needed an outlet. 'It' got one.
Luckily I was far away but the smell soon reached me. 'Fragrant' is a word. As is 'Foul'. Only one applies to this scenario. Well, we soon got cleaned up and then carried on to drop the RV off. All the time I was thinking of when would be the best time to ask. My stomach was in turmoil, and Frank's new ‘eau de cologne' wasn't helping.
We soon reached the storage yard and started to unhook the RV. My heart was thudding against my ribcage, my palms were sweaty (not a good sign, I wanted to seal the deal with a strong, manly handshake). At last I could delay no more (as they say in Hong Kong). 'Frank, I need to ask you a question. It's about Carmen.' I can't quite remember what he said at this point, but it was positive. I carried on, 'I'd like your permission to marry Carmen'.
The sun beat down. In the distance a dog barked. Tumbleweed tumbled. My hand slowly moved towards my six-gun. Actually that didn't happen. We had a lovely handshake and hug (a brief one) and Frank replied that he would be delighted to have me as a son-in-law and my heart rate slowed down as I realised that I was one step closer to my dream.
We had a lovely drive back to the house (windows open) and we schemed on just how and when to break the news to Karin. All the tension left my body as I realised that I would be joining a wonderful family. Next step, the Rockies!